After about a month and change of inactivity I decided to add this blog to my website as a way to motivate myself to do things and maybe get better at writing. Eventually I may add a way to easily find entries among other things but for now this will do. Today I'm going to buy the crossword subscription in the NYT because I think it will make me smarter. Oh, also I'm in college as a freshman and have been for about a month. I meant to edit this website sooner but my computer had been broken for about a week. I want to talk about more things but I think I'll wait until tomorrow. -9/22/2025

Today is good but I'm tired. My girlfriend is coming over soon. There's certain disconnects in regions of my brain. I'm very good at math, but am horrible at physics. I don't see why that's the case, as both often feature very similiar problem structures: you're given a problem which features some constants and maybe a couple given equations, and then from that you use formulas and calculations to come to a solution. I often find it a lot harder to grasp things conceptually in physics which I think is a common trait between people who suffer the same as me. It's dissapointing that everyone's brain is hardwired to be better at certain things from birth. Obviously you can train and practice to get better --neuroplasticity or whatever-- but some people will always be genetically inclined to learn certain things faster than you, and that makes me sad. Some people are genetically inclined to learn many, many things at a faster pace as well. That's probably why renaissance men are a thing. There's only so many hours in a day and some people are able to use them much more efficiently. I wonder if you learn things faster when you get more dopamine from doing it. I like math more than I like physics, so that checks out. I'm sure there's things you can do to rewire your brain to enjoy things more but a lot of it is probably social media pseudoscience. It wouldn't hurt to try though, I have an exam in physics in about a week anyways. -9/23/2025

There's a lot of stuff I want to get good at before I'm done with college but I'm not doing a good job at keeping up with a lot of them. I'm getting better at making music though. A random guy noted my improvement online --that meant a lot to me. I think I need to get more organized, I don't really have a schedule other than go to classes and get homework done. What I do on a day-to-day basic usually consists of whatever I remember to do which is far and few between. I'll try to make a schedule I can follow every day, a strict one which doesn't leave a lot of time for doomscrolling and the like. Maybe then I'll be able to get better at the things I want to be good at. -9/24/2025

Another day of inactivity. I was planning to spend some time drawing and make that schedule I was talking about yesterday but a wave of fatigue struck me and I ended up napping for an hour instead. I went to the gym after that but then mostly just ended up doomscrolling. I need a change. -9/25/2025

I'm tired everyday, I'm not sleeping enough. My girl is going to a party without me; I needed to get on a list or something but I took too long to ask. She's going with her roommate and I'm pretty sure she'll make sure she doesn't do anything stupid. I'm mad though, not just about that but about a lot of things. I don't like the state of where we are right now, who does after all anyways? My physics exam is on monday and I don't know shit. I'm too tired to study or do anything else productive so I think I'll just go to bed now. I'm kind of expecting something else to happen between us soon too. The last day to get shit done for physics, the last day of expecting something from her, I think everything will come to a head tomorrow. I don't know, I'll see I guess. -9/27/2025

I've been forgetting to update this. She ended up coming over that same night, so needless to say I didn't get much sleep haha. My physics exam went pretty well too I think. They let us take the tests home --I guess they only needed the scantron?-- and from checking a couple questions it seemed like I got most of them right. Anyways, like last time I've been trying to catch up on sleep. I wasn't able to get much sleep last night because one of my roommates and the girlfriend(?) of one of my other roommates were talking too much. It just occurred to me that I don't think I ever explained the setup of my dorm. It's essentially 4 single rooms which all share a common living room. Even though my rooms the smallest it's still quite nice, far better than many other dorms anyways. My girlfriend lives in a different student housing --about a 15 minute walk aways-- and she has the typical 2 bed same room dorm. She likes her roommate though so that's nice. I also went on a little date with her, I got her a kitkat bar and took her out to this pizza place to celebrate the (for the most part) end of our 1st exams. It was nice. I'm thinking about going to a concert with her too, the Magdalena Bay one on the 13th I think, we haven't bought tickets yet though. On that same note, her roommate actually gave me 4 tickets + a parking pass to the Colts game over the weekend because she meant to go with her family but the game got cancelled. Since the game got cancelled, it got rescheduled, and so, because her family would no longer be in town, she decided to just give them to me. Did you follow that? I don't blame if you didn't. It's funny, these past few days seemed really uneventful but now that I put them into words it seems a lot more has happened than I thought. I want to talk about this thing I made and my plans for these upcoming days but this entry is really long already so I think I'll just talk about them tomorrow (if I remember). -10/1/2025